Column: Things kids don’t say
Commentary by Becky Kapsalis
Here is what your children won’t tell adults, especially their parents, but what they probably would say if they had the ability to.
“As a person I look up to, please be a springboard for my successes without taking the credit and be a backstop for my failures without taking the blame. I know that your support in both my successes and failures play a huge part in my childhood development. I appreciate you helping me through the highs and lows of my life.
It might be hard for you to not boast about my successes and maybe even harder to suffer through my failures- but I’d like to tell you- my successes will teach me humility and my failures will teach me valuable lessons. Either way – I own them.
I will learn, through self-assurance and your acceptance, to recognize my options – whether they are good or poor decisions. I will learn to have the foresight to not get involved in things I cannot easily recover from: addiction, pregnancy, criminal acts. I will have the wisdom to share my successes with all those who have helped me along the way.
Unless I am being taught to be a sore loser or a braggart- making excuses for any shortcomings or taking all the credit for my victories-my experiences will determine my self-worth. How I respond to my experiences will determine my resolve. Character counts for me!
As a springboard to my success I might appreciate your openness in helping me find my center of interests. Conversely, as a backstop for my failures I welcome your discipline in keeping me emotionally and physically out of harm’s way. I will have you to thank for encouraging, accepting, noticing, and believing in me in becoming the best person I’m capable of being.
With you as my support there will be little that I can’t accomplish. I love you!”