Column: May God Bless Black Friday

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Commentary by Jon Quick

I really wanted to share the spirit of the holidays in this column.  But there is so much news to report.  So let’s just do both.  Let’s sing and then imagine Lester Holt reading between the lines.  Brilliant idea.

“Have yourself a merry little Christmas, let your heart be light”

Brawls broke out at Walmart retail stores and other shopping centers across the country on Thursday evening, the official start of Black Friday.

“From now on, our troubles will be out of sight”

In Kentucky, Texas and Louisiana, tempers flared among shoppers as law enforcement agencies struggled to keep control.

“Have yourself a merry little Christmas, make the Yule-tide gay,”

At a Louisville mall on Thanksgiving night, shoppers wrestled each other to the ground in a packed food court after one grabbed a popular toy out of the other’s cart, screaming, “I got it first!”

“From now on, our troubles will be miles away.”

A fracas over the last big screen TV in stock knocked a woman to the floor as shoppers at Mall St. Matthews gawked at the sight of two unidentified men slapping, punching and tearing at each other’s shirts.

“Here we are as in olden days, happy golden days of yore.

Several people were also angry at Starbucks earlier this month because the company removed Christmas decorations from their annual holiday-themed coffee cups.

“Faithful friends who are dear to us gather near to us once more.”

At least one participant in the fight was shown being ushered out of the food court by his friends. He made sure to pick up a shopping bag he had dropped on the floor.

“Through the years we all will be together. If the fates allow.”

Thousands of people around America joined together to celebrate Black Friday in a the most barbaric way  – they physically fought for TVs and one woman even yanked a vegetable steamer right from a child’s hand.

“Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.”

A memo from the Salem VA Medical Center stated Christmas trees will not be allowed in public areas this holiday season.  But after a heated debate Friday afternoon — management is going to deck the halls and light the tree after all.”

“And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.”

And finally tonight, just in time to the holidays K-mart has brought back the traditional Bluelight special that once made them famous.

Amen.

Jon Quick is President of the Carmel-based marketing and public relations firm, Q Public Relations & Marketing. You can reach him at Jon@QPRmarketing.com. He is a former 25+ year manager at both CBS and Emmis Communications

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